As many of you may know, sugar is my true love... my arch nemesis...my weakness...my joy...my achilles heel...my betrayer!
The long and short of it is that I have NEVER had a balanced, healthy relationship with sugar. I have so often treated it like a good friend - welcome always. Believing that we had a respect for each other. That it was a source of comfort as well as a means of celebration.
Oh how wrong I was. It took me a while to see, but me and sugar...well, we aren't really friends at all.
Now I write this today simply to expose my relationship with sugar. Not to preach to anyone about what may be hiding in their relationship - only to enlighten you about mine. And quite frankly, it's time to give up this toxic relationship.
I am a reader. Always have been and probably always will be. So many of the treasures that I carry have come from the wisdom of others - shared with me through books.
When I decided that for once and for all I needed to QUIT SUGAR, I turned to books for comfort, for answers, for support and for understanding. I thought that I would share a few of the ones that have really helped me on my way.
As of today I am 5 weeks clean. This is not to say that I have had NO sugar whatsoever. I have had a little bit on a few occasions. But overall I feel much freer from than substance than I have ever before. There have been plenty of times when I have gone on some sort of a cleanse (I went 6 weeks completely sugar free). But the main difference is that this time there is no finish line. There is no hot fudge sundae waiting for me at the end. There is no countdown until cheesecake. This time the changes I am making are intended to be for good (and yes there is a heaviness and a few tears that come with even saying that).
I realized that I finally had to make a choice (and how grateful I am to even have the opportunity to make that choice). What I really wanted was GREAT HEALTH - in all of its varieties. I knew that great health and a relationship with sugar could not both be apart of my life. I had to choose. And since I am still in the process of "overcoming", I have titled this Part 1. Part 2 will come...eventually :)
The book that brought me so much hope was this one:
I can't even put into words how powerful this book was for me. It was honestly like someone had entered my life and my mind and had put it to words. My fears and my weaknesses were all right there are paper. And the knowledge that someone out there just like me had overcome was so uplifting!
Another book that helped me along the way was this one:
This book helped me tremendously with the logistics of actually "getting off sugar". It taught me about the power of my body with things like my serotonin levels and my blood sugar levels. I personally didn't believe everything that was written (for example, I think that we need a lot less protein than is touted) and I should say that I did not lose ONE POUND while I was following her program. That said, I was VERY grateful to have a step by step action plan to break my sugar addiction. I learned so much about how foods triggered my cravings. It was another step in improving my self-awareness.
The book that helped me begin this journey was this one:
Words will never, ever be able to fully express how much this book has helped me. Not just with sugar, but with absolutely every aspect of my life that needed some changing. It is a beautiful take on Alcoholics Anonymous and the necessity of turning ourselves over to a higher power. I have never felt closer to God in my life than when I was finished with this book. I will forever be grateful for the lessons that I learned about the power of my Savior and His ability to overcome ALL (including something as silly as my desire to give up sugar).
The last book that I want to mention is one that I am currently in the middle of. It has been a pure gift to read.
I should say that I don't necessarily agree with every single aspect of the book, but it is still one that I would highly recommend. I feel that as with most learning, you can do it in pieces. A little from this book, a little from that book until slowly (but surely) you have developed the type of learning that applies specifically to you. This book has taught me so much about love. The absolute need for love it every area of my life - including my kitchen. I used to think that sugar was a great way to feel and give love. I was wrong. Something that leaves me feeling foggy, manic and sluggish is NOT what real love is about. I also learned about fear. I had no idea how many of my choices were fear-based and came from a place of scarcity-thinking.
I have begun a journey dedicated to being my best self. This will have ups and downs and I'm okay with that. This will probably include cheesecake on my birthday and it will probably include lots of self-doubt (as well as judgement from others). But I also know that my journey will include growth and plenty of mistakes. It will include tears and mourning - asking "Why can't I just be like everyone else?".
In being my best self I hope to be a better servant to the world. I am a nicer, clearer, kinder, more functioning human being when I am not thinking about my next fix or when I am too tired to be of use to anyone. Remember, this is merely MY journey. I am still questioning and I am still finding answers. I have found peace with that process. As for the sugar - I am not giving something up, I am CHOOSING something better!!